What are your favorite funny quotes?

[QT]

To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.

To the optimist, the glass is half full.

To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

- Anonymous


Behind every good man, there stands a woman glaring at him.


:D :D :D

[JoshPet]

If a cluttered desk means a cluttered mind..... then what does an empty desk mean?

:D

[OOagent137]

It takes a big man to cry....but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.

-SomebodyOtherThanMe

When all else fails, use a shotgun.

-SomebodyOtherThanMe

[carlos]

in god we trust ..... in other we monitor...

[spoon]

Got 3 I live my life by:

1) If you can't go over it, around it, under it, or through it... then negotiate with it. -- anon

2) Never meddle in the affairs of dragons, for thou art crunchy and go well with ketchup. -- some dude off UseNet

3) "The only easy day is yesterday." -- R. Lee Ermey

[brent]

Though not a real "quote" (per se), I always liked:

"Simpson, hey?"

- The Simpsons

Haven't we all felt anonymous at one time or another at work.

[knightfoo]

Real programmers don't document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to read.

Do not meddle in the affairs of sysadmins, for they are quick to anger and have access to your e-mail.

There are 10 types of people this world: those who understand binary and those who don't (ThinkGeek t-shirt)

-knightfoo

[spoon]

Dude. I hate that first one.... poor hackers always use that as an excuse to cover up the fact they don't really know what they're doing. Having said that, documentation shouldn't be necessary if the code design is elegant and well planned.

ObTopic: "Root, God... what is difference?" -- Pitr

[chakorules]

"Real programmers do it with loops"

"The program never fails"

"I am ROOT"

"How do you spell PLC" -Automation Tech guy

"What's this button do?" - Automation Tech guy

[JohnScott]

Originally posted by OOagent137
It takes a big man to cry....but it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man.


LMAO! That's classic! :D

[spsmcc]

the poster on my cubicle wall says
"Hard Work Often Pays Off After Time, but Laziness Always Pays Off Now."

and another one that says

"If We Don't Take Care of the Customer, Maybe They'll Stop Bugging Us."

[Immense]

"If you find my answers frightening, Vincent, you should cease askin' scary questions"

-Jules

[knightfoo]

If it ain't broke, take it apart and fix it. --Anonymous Engineer

When all else fails, manipulate the data. --Anonymous T-Shirt

Tact is for people who aren't witty enough to be sarcastic. --Anonymous T-Shirt

-knightfoo

[QT]

"Why be difficult? With a little more effort, you can be impossible."

"Drink coffee - Do stupid things faster and with more energy."

"They say I have A.D.D, but they just don't understand......OH LOOK!! A CHICKEN!!!"

"Keep staring at me...I might do a trick."

"I'm still hot, it just comes in flashes now."

"Always being right is an awesome responsibility."

[guitard00d]

- I have all the right answers, it's not my fault that you keep asking all the wrong questions. (a t-shirt I own)

- If I throw a stick, will you leave? (another t-shirt I own)

- How many times do I have to flush before you go away? (Unknown Origin)

- If at first you don't succeed, call it Windows. (Unknown Origin)

- It's not a bug, it's a seldomly necessary undocumented feature. (Leo LaPorte)

- Hmmm, did Dell make another power switch a little too easy to operate? (Me)

[Tim]

Originally posted by knightfoo

There are 10 types of people this world: those who understand binary and those who don't (ThinkGeek t-shirt)

-knightfoo

This has always been one of my favorites, but I saw a deviation of it today and had to laugh:

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who have friends. -drew.corrupt.net

[Mitch]

Some Good Tshirts I've seen lately:


I'm what Willis was talkin' bout

WWSD - What Would Scooby Doo?

[OOagent137]

I'm what Willis was talkin' bout

That's absolutely hilarious!

[QT]

I am root..
If you see me laughing..
You better have a backup. ;)